Have you ever wondered why some people seem incredibly happy, while others are not?
In this article you’ll learn the 17 mindset shifts that made me happy again.
They are crafted out of my own experience with overcoming depression, and you can apply them instantly.
So… let’s begin!
#1: Life is Like Climbing a Mountain
We all experience life in a different way, but what makes our journey the same, is that we all experience struggles, setbacks and pain.
Living life is like scaling a mountain. It’s a journey with many obstacles to the top. You don’t know how to overcome these obstacles, but everytime you try and overcome an obstacle, you rise higher and higher… until you gaze upon the most beautiful view you have ever seen.
A simple life without any struggles and obstacles, is like walking downhill, which means that the view gets less pretty with every step you set.
In your struggles, you can find the lessons you need to learn. And when you find the lesson, the pain dissolves. Struggle is the Universes way of training you to become the person you are destined to be.
#2: Comparison makes you miserable
Never compare yourself to people you don’t know.
You know who I mean:
Those Instagram celebrities with the best bodies, the best lifestyle and the happy relationship. Or the 18-year-old millionaires who make you feel like a loser because you are way older and haven’t achieved the same.
Those people. Don’t compare yourself to them.
#3: Too much pressure sucks the joy out of life
There is one thing that I guarantee you do too much: you put yourself under too much pressure.
You beat yourself up for not achieving what you want to achieve. You get angry at yourself for not doing what you want to do. And you blame yourself for all the mistakes you didn’t want to make.
You take your life way too seriously. But who are you and I anyway?
Somebody in an ocean of people, floating on a small planet, which is nothing more than a particle of dust somewhere in the Universe.
Don’t pressure yourself and don’t take life so seriously, it sucks the joy out of your days.
#4: The more you seek outside of yourself, the less you’ll find within
People often chase what they believe they lack inside themselves. They pursue these things in order to feel whole and complete again.
Followers for attention, money for significance, views to prove their worth and clothes to show people they matter.
But it is never the things that make you feel whole, but the fact that you allow yourself to feel whole, once you attain them.
Nothing in the world can make you feel whole and complete.
Only you can.
#5: All the small things you’re not grateful for today, turn out to be the big things later in life
The moment I knew that my dog was dying I lied down with him and placed my hand on his heart.
I listened and I felt his tiny heart beating slowly. Suddenly an intense feeling rushed through my body. I was insanely grateful for such a small moment together.
When you learn to rejoice in the small things in life, your life becomes a walking expression of happiness, as you can find small things to be grateful for “everywhere”.
Just before she died, my grandmother told me that one day the small things turn out to be the big things… and I believe her.
#6: Emotions are meant to be felt. The longer you ignore them the harder they scream
If feelings are the language of the Universe, each feeling contains a powerful message from the source that created you.
Whatever you’re dealing with, emotions have to be felt.
For example: happiness is the Universes way of telling you: “Hey, I really like this!”
While sadness might tell you: “Well, maybe I have to change course.”
Feel your feelings, which is what I also explain in my Limited Time Training on freeing yourself from anxiety.
#7: If you don’t flourish, don’t fix yourself. Fix your environment instead
Do you consider your life a complete mess?
Then remember the following: understand that if a flower doesn’t blossom, it’s not the fault of the seed but the environment it is in.
Too much rain, too little sun and too little nutrients won’t make the seed sprout, but when they are all in balance… the seed will unfold itself into a beautiful flower.
The seed has everything it needs to become the flower, but it only needed the right environment to flourish and a willingness to let go of the old and a desire to become something new.
You are the same.
#8: Spend more time in nature. Feel the earth and listen to its voice
Can we agree that we both spend too much time behind a screen?
And can we also agree that one of the best feelings there is… is spending time in nature?
I hope we can… make the decision to calm your mind in nature, feel the earth and listen to the whispers of life itself.
#9: If you aren’t happy with your life. Understand that changing your life is caused by the accumulation of a hundred small steps. Not one giant leap
If you want to jump to the other side of the river, you don’t have to take that big leap of faith… because you can also cross it by jumping on the small stepping stones of change.
Changing your life doesn’t require one big jump, just the decision to change it one tiny step at a time.
#10: If you want a life that is hard, do what is easy. If you want a life that is easy, do what is hard
If you find your life hard, ask yourself if you are in the habit of doing things that are easy.
Did you settle with someone, while you knew you deserved a better person?
Did you keep working at a company that didn’t treat you well?
Did you give up on your dreams, while you knew you could achieve them?
Often doing the hard things will guide you to an easier life.
And it all starts with this: confronting your fear.
You’re meant for way more… you know it!
#11: Realize that every stage of your life is beautiful on its own
Understand that every stage of your life turns you into someone new and shines a different light on life… so in the end, you have the full picture of what it was all about.
Each phase contains its own struggles and beauty. Happiness is therefore not the absence of struggle, but accepting the struggle and enjoying the small moments of beauty that can always be found around you.
#12: Forgive the people that once hurt you, because you don’t free them, but yourself
I have been severely bullied in the past. And even though it left scars, I am thankful they picked me to bully.
They made me more confident. They showed me that I was different and they helped me to learn the lessons I had to learn. Even though I felt pain, I forgave them.
Not because I wanted to free them… but I wanted to free myself.
#13: Focus on the journey, not the destination
We all have goals we want to achieve, but when you only have your eyes on the goals, you’re essentially chasing the horizon.
And when you chase, you miss all the small acts of beauty that happen around you.
Life is not a race to the finish, but a journey that has to be enjoyed.
#14: No matter how people talk about you, the only thing that matters, is how you talk to yourself
Well… that’s basically all I have to say about this one.
#15: Happiness lies in consistently doing small things that mean a lot to other people
When my grandma reached her 80th birthday, I committed myself to consistently doing small things with her.
Whether it was visiting a park, taking a walk or watching the birds when spending time in nature.
She lost her husband, brothers, sister and many of her friends due to old age… which meant that a short and simple visit from me, completely made her day.
Happiness lies in consistently doing small things for other people, which most of the time… are perceived as big things for them.
#16: Give yourself the time to be with yourself
If you finished this article… can you sit with yourself for 15 minutes? To feel your feelings? To feel your breath? And to feel your body?
Every day, give yourself the permission to spend time with yourself, because the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have.
#17: Always be aware of your energy
You always want to be aware of what gives you energy and what takes your energy away.
What activities drain you?
What people do you hang around with that take your energy away?
And what habits are standing in your way of where you want to be?
Remember to always be aware of engaging in activities that bring you alive, while letting go of the things that take your life away.
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