I want show you how YOU can boost your self-esteem in 17 seconds! Many people think boosting your self-esteem is all about tips and tricks and charisma hacks, but that is completely false. It is Mindset First.
When you don’t learn how to boost your self-esteem, life can be very hard and you won’t take action on opportunities, especially in your love life.
The first three tips are all about how to raise your self-esteem, while the last one is a power tip.
Tip 1: Identify the Cause
The first thing you can do to raise your self-esteem is to become aware of your limiting beliefs. It is the biggest and most profound thing that will help you with raising your self-esteem.
Your 5 senses pick up all kinds of information, think off sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. But all that information gets edited by your internal filters: and one of those filters are your beliefs. They distort, delete and generalize all the sensory information that comes in. And those beliefs can be very limiting.
Let’s say that a girl looks at you. You pick up the information, but when you believe you are unlovable, not good enough or ugly… all the information gets edited until your internal representation can be:
“She looks at me because I am ugly.”
But when you believe that you ARE lovable, good enough and quite handsome, the information you get in is still the same, but the filters create another representation, or mental movie. With those constructive beliefs you might think:
“Oh she is looking at me because I am handsome, let’s ask her name.”
The same events, but different outcomes. Try to become aware of your limiting beliefs because they are the root cause to much of your low self-esteem. And most of the time those limiting beliefs aren’t even true. But you ALWAYS have the option to choose which beliefs you want to have, constructive or destructive.
And because you are able to choose them: pick the constructive ones. Even if they are not necessarily true… because after a while you start to believe them and your reality changes accordingly.
Tip 2: Forgive the Past
The second thing you can do to boost your self-esteem is to use Radical Forgiveness. Last January I read the book Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping, and soon after I used his worksheets and knowledge, my self-esteem raised to its highest level ever!
As a baby you were born with high self-esteem and over the course of your life, many things happened that lowered your self-esteem, and sometimes it is crazy low, that you are afraid of so many things in life. Think of daring to speak up when you don’t agree to someone, taking action, talking with men or women and basically everything else in life.
All those events and people that once hurt you in the past and you haven’t forgiven yet… are always in your subconscious mind. Everyone of us has its own mental prison and all the people you haven’t forgiven YET, are in your mental prison. And you might think that it feels very good to imprison those people. You feel in control and they are finally locked up.
But the prison gets fuller and fuller and the person who has to keep an eye on all these prisoners is nobody else than YOU! You have to stand there watching 24/7 in the hope they don’t escape.
And that takes so much of your precious energy. How can you enjoy life when you have to keep an eye on all those prisoners in the hope they don’t escape?
You feel stressed, insecure, tired and just awful. Come On there you are meant to do much more in life than watching prisoners!
When you learn how to forgive the people that hurt you, for every person you forgive, you reclaim a burst of precious energy which raises your self-esteem and all that energy you can use to create your future. And there are a dozen reasons why you should forgive someone, so I highly recommend that you watch this video on Radical Forgiveness after this blog.
Tip 3: Fear of Rejection
The third tip I want to give you about how you can raise your self-esteem is to become bulletproof against rejection.
There was a time when I felt so not good enough for… basically anything… that I tried to please others as much as I could. Just laughing about everything people said, even when it wasn’t funny, just to cover up the inner smallness. I placed myself second wherever I went, so I wouldn’t have to disappoint others.
Can you relate to that?
That you fear rejection for who you are and what you do. What you should know is that you are good enough and that you DON’T have to proof yourself to other people. You are whole and complete of your own and you don’t need anyone in the outer world to help you with feeling whole.
And this is especially the case for relationships. You don’t try to find someone in the world so you can feel whole and complete, feel whole and complete already so you don’t radiate neediness.
Also… when people really reject you or criticise you to bring you down… know that you never have to let in what they say. If they want to bring you down, it says more about them than about you.
Because people bring you down because they look up to you. That is a better way to look at criticism, right?
17 Second Rule
The final tip on how to raise your self-esteem is a very powerful one. It is the tip that helped me the most in my journey from low self-esteem to high self-esteem.
Let me explain.
Whenever I had to talk to someone, I used to have feelings of unworthiness, fear, and everything that makes you nervous. With those feelings rushing through my body I was approaching people in an anxious way. And of course, that person responded with the same fear back to me.
People are like mirrors; they reflect who you are. And the moment I understood that, I made a powerful shift.
Do you have someone in your life that is just magnetic like hell, radiates optimism and joy? How do you feel when you are around that person? Probably very good right? After I understood the basics of energy and that feelings and thoughts radiate out of you… before I interacted with someone I placed my hand on my heart and started to feel very grateful.
Grateful for being healthy, having food, being able to walk… whatever you can be grateful for.
Now, the moment I interacted with that person I was “afraid” of… I created a strong, magnetic field of gratitude around me that radiated out of me. And all that love, all that power I emitted to the other person and because humans are energetic beings, I created a tropical, cocktail of great emotions when interacting.
It was a nice, Bacardi Cola with lemon instead of beer, mixed with rum and wine.
Whenever you are afraid or feel a sense of low self-esteem when interacting with people, place your hand on your heart for 17 seconds and create feelings of gratitude to make a powerful magnetic field that radiates out of you and blends with the energy of the other person.
It sounds spiritual but give it a try, and when you have tried it, come back to this blog and let me know in the comments!