How to LOVE yourself Unconditionally when you Feel Unworthy

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As I have told a few times before, I have been very depressed for many years and every time I looked to myself in the mirror. My inner critic told me why I wasn’t good enough, why I was ugly and why I would accomplish anything in this world. And the worst part was that I believed it completely. My self-talk was very bad and I hated myself for who I was.

And unfortunately, many people don’t like themselves. They can give more reasons why they don’t succeed and deserve any good, than why they DESERVE it. And now is the time to stop that for you, because people who follow their purpose love themselves and their gifts. So listen carefully.

Step 1: Your mind goes to what it thinks you want it

The first thing you should know is that your mind does what it thinks you want it to do. The mind is the best employee there is and everything you say to yourself, it sees it as a command. When you say to yourself that you hate the way you look, you don’t deserve love, money or success, your mind thinks:

“Yes, you don’t deserve it… fool.”

Why is that? That is because your mind only responds to 2 things. The first one is the words you say to yourself and the second one are pictures you make in your head. Your mind only responds to those 2 things, nothing else.

It works in the present tense only and now controlling your mind becomes a lot easier. Instead of criticising yourself for EVERYTHING you do, why you forgot your lunch, why you did this wrong, or that… try to become aware of your inner dialogue. Are you the person who is mean to itself?

Are you destructing yourself with your inner voice? Or are you the person who is positive, constructive and praises itself? You HAVE to give your mind the right fuel to perform well.

Because without the right fuel you cannot love yourself and you’ll never learn how to love yourself again. Self-love becomes hard when you are mean to yourself. You can practise as many self-love affirmations as you would like, but the first thing you should do is to become AWARE of how you talk to yourself, and then to feed your mind with the right words and pictures.

Instead of saying you look like a graveyard as soon as you wake up, say things like “I am grateful for a new day, let’s make this day AMAZING Lisa.” One of the best tips I can give you is that every time you look to yourself in the mirror, give yourself a compliment.

Yes… EVERY TIME. Because you make it familiar to practise self-love. As soon as you take control over your inner critic and implement constructive self-talk, your world changes like never before.

Step 2: Praise Familiar

Another important thing you should do is to praise yourself more often. There is nothing in this world that boosts your self-esteem, your self-worth and self-love more than praise.

A reason why you could hate yourself for who you are is because for most of your life, people told you you weren’t good enough, you didn’t perform well enough or you didn’t match all the criteria society created. You were measured your whole childhood, which I can relate to. I was the dumbest kid in the class, had low grades, no friends and felt worthless, until I imprinted all that information in my subconscious mind, until it began to control my life.

Because children under the age of 7 are in a theta brainwave, they are essentially under hypnosis. Which means they are very suggestible for information. And They have to because they have to learn in order to survive. But when these children get the wrong information or limiting beliefs, they take that with them for the rest of their lives. And your life right now is a printout of your beliefs.

Your life is a reflection of your subconscious mind for as much as 95%. Powerful isn’t it? So what I want you to do is to praise yourself more often and make that familiar. The reason why you want to know how to love yourself again is because praise is very unfamiliar to you.

I bet you haven’t praised yourself in a long time, so I want you to make praise familiar to you. You don’t need ANYONE to praise you, you just have to praise yourself. Don’t become dependant on others, because you create lack and wanting, PRAISE Yourself.

Step 3: The Ego

What I am going to tell you right now is SO, SO valuable. Because society made us believe we aren’t good enough for whatever reason, we believe we are broken. We have put many limits in your mind and eventually all the abundance we felt as a child disappeared.

When we were kids we believed we could achieve anything with ease, we could be free and we were lovable. But when we became older all the beauty that was inside us, got covered up by a lot of mud, dirt and other stuff by all the things society imprinted on us.

That is why I want to say to the people who never seem to get into a relationship “love hasn’t been hiding from you, you have been hiding from love.” And that is with every area of your life.

How to love yourself

When you feel unworthy, not lovable or whatever, is that everything you wish to have hasn’t been hiding from you at all… it is everywhere around you… but you have been hiding from it. Your beauty is still inside of you, but it is covered up by limiting beliefs, reasons of unworthiness and opinions of people you shouldn’t give a dammed thing about. When you want to love yourself more, understand that whatever people say to you, you remain WHOLE.

Your ego is the only thing that suffers, but not your spirit. Because your spirit remains whole and cannot be touched by falsehood. Your spirit is pure love injected in your body and no limiting belief can damage it.

It is always asking “please let me unfold”. Become aware of the dirt that is covering up your soul, because your soul is perfect, full of love and therefore you really cannot hate yourself, which brings me to my next point.

Step 5: Embrace your gifts

The final thing I want you to know is that even though you don’t love yourself, or even hate yourself. You have been given SO MANY powerful gifts that no one in the world has, except YOU. You are through life without being aware that you have gold in your backpack. You have talents, gifts, skills and things you are better at than others.

And even if you don’t agree, you have something you are bad at. Maybe you have autism, or ADD, but when you learn how to work with that and to overcome it, you can show the world how you did and it becomes your gift. You wound becomes your superpower. Everyone has given weaknesses and talents to show the world their greatness, and that is what I love to teach you. Never hate yourself, because you cannot hate yourself when you understand that your spirit is perfect the way it is, it is Pure love.


So become aware of your self-talk and make it constructive instead of destructive, make praising yourself familiar, understand that when you hate yourself, you have nothing to hate because your spirit, your soul cannot be hated because it is pure love and last but not least you have to understand that you are a REFLECTION of the entire cosmos.

The gifts that you’ve been given came from the Universe. You are powerful, full of potential and it only has to unfold itself. Love yourself unconditionally, and NEVER doubt yourself.

Wish you an amazing future!

– Wouter

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    Wish you an amazing future!


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